At the End
08.23.2022
At the end of what you knew about me we entered into the land of assumptions, midnight musings, and unreal expectations.
Crossing from the known into the territory of what you thought you knew - I learned your secrets.
I was dragged through the rocky ground of hubris,
the sandtraps of egotism,
and dangled over the precipice
of false confidence…
Which you kept hidden from the world
under a large rock
built from smug chuckles,
cocky assertions,
and carefully professed wickedness.
When you told me about yourself you were revealing you, in your arrogance and preconceived notions about who I am - You told me
you weren't real… Shouted that you didn't feel,
and whispered
that you couldn't love.
I became your mirror, and reflected a dark and barren world
littered with broken hearts
and unfinished stories.
Stories like ours
that ended
when you reached the last of what you knew about me.
And I walked through that dark, inner world
that you dragged me into.
I tread its unforgiving deserts. I drank from its
poisoned wells.
And I still wanted you…
In darkness, I imagined light.
In emptiness, I saw potential.
But you said
I knew otherwise.
You said
I knew there was
only death here.
Death of desire,
death of lust,
death of friendship.
Death
of love.
And at the end
there would be nothing
but pain and regrets.
But I didn't
know that.
I didn't know you'd hurt me
to save yourself.
I didn't know the soil was as dead as your hope,
as compacted,
as your ideals, and that love could not grow there.
What I knew,
what I felt in my bones and with every beat of my heart was that I loved you and at the end
that was never going to be enough.
So I dusted off my boots and found my way out
of your world -
Back into the light
and away from all things dead
which now included love.
And I placed love
in a little box
wrapped tenderly
with a black satin ribbon
to tie it closed.
And left it
where you hide, where hope died.
Where all you knew
about me
became just pretend.
I left our love
At the end.